Friday, March 28, 2008

The First Test (or 10)

Hi! My name is Julia, and I am a pessimist.

I'd try to change, but frankly, I'm a much happier person when I keep my expectations low. Because I am a pessimist, when I was walking home from work on Wednesday, I decided to pick up a pregnancy test. You see, I'd been having Girly Issues for a few days, and I was a day late. I figured as soon as the negative pregnancy test was in my hands my period would start, thus bringing my discomfort to an end.

Except it wasn't negative.

As a matter of fact, yes I *DID* just upload a picture of a stick I pee'd on to the internet at large. My mother would be so proud. Anyway...

As you can see (or maybe you can't, I have eyes like a hawk), there is a very faint line second line in the window.
Naturally, I assumed a line so faint couldn't possibly be a positive test. Naturally, a call to the Registered Nurse at the 1-800 line included with the test assured me I was wrong. They might as well just name it the "Yes, it's Positive" line.

Remember that pessimist bit? Yes. Well. My husband and I (OK, mostly me) needed more reassurance that it really was a positive test. Fine, fair enough. Off to the drugstore we went to buy "The Most Sophisticated Piece of Technology You'll Ever Pee On". And what did it say?

(Not Pregnant, for those of you who can't read blurry, over-zoomed text. I'd fix it, but I'm really quite lazy).

Well, what the fuck? The lady at the "Yes, it's Positive" line assured me that even a faint second line means the test is positive. How DARE the most sophisticated piece of technology I've ever pee'd on offer a dissenting opinion! Of course, I did the only thing a sane, rational person would do! (Remember, a whole 2 days late at this point...)

I took another test later the same day:

Positive, but not positive enough for my tastes.

And another one the following morning:

Also positive. Also not positive enough for my tastes.

As you can see, I started numbering them so I could keep track of which pee'd-upon stick I was photographing to share with the world at large. You're starting to figure out that I'm maybe a little bit crazy at this point, aren't you? You'll be well served keeping that in mind as we go forward.

So here we are, I'm now 4 days late and we STILL don't have a definitive answer. Just wait 'till you see the scientific experiment I've dreamed up for this weekend!

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