Sunday, August 31, 2008

Status Report - 233 Days to Go!

The doctor's office called on Wednesday afternoon to let me know that everything was OK, my levels were in line with where they should be. *Phew!* I should probably let my doctor know that freaking out hormone-crazed first time mommies with quasi bad news and little back up information falls under the category of NOT VERY NICE.

Now I just have the ENORMOUS boobs (up two cups, thank you very much and OW!) to contend with, and the general intestinal discomfort. Though it pains me to say this, I think I'm getting used to just generally feeling "unwell". So far, the morning sickness has been contained to dry heaves on occasion. I'm OK as long as I never let myself get to the point of actually hungry. It's all about the blood sugar.

Speaking of never getting hungry, I plan to spend the rest of today cooking tasty stuffs so I an eat well all week.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Status Report - 242 Days to Go!

I had blood taken for testing last week, and the results are in. At the stage I was at on Saturday (4 weeks, 4 days) the "normal" range of hcg (the hormone that you generate during pregnancy) is 500-6,000. My level is at 631. I thought that was just fine, but my doctor wants me to go back for another test to make sure its trending upwards as it should.

I am was very worried, but I have managed to talk myself off the ledge. First of all, I spent most of the afternoon at work running to the bathroom to cry. The only people that do that are pregnant women and the very unprofessional. I are serious professional, so it must be the raging hormones of the still very knocked up with a healthy as a horse baby.

Also, I consulted my good friend Dr. Google, who has assured me with a variety of sources that many healthy babies are born from pregnancies with low hcg test levels. Also, the charts are kind of bullshit. No, seriously, this is a direct quote from one of Dr. Google's sources "The numbers in the chart are only a guideline, and are so broad as to be almost useless."

Perfect! I ran to the bathroom to cry several times AND told my boss during my mid-year evaluation that I hate my job because of the stress caused by a number - STILL IN THE NORMAL RANGE - of a chart that is "so broad as to be almost useless." !Thumbs Up! Yup, I'm behaving in a totally rational fashion.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Status Report - 247 Days to Go!

Think Unicorns & Rainbows!

There are many things they don't tell you, those people who encourage you to join the With Children cult. Like when they say "you may experience some breast tenderness" they don't tell you your boobs will hurt so fucking much, you won't even be able to wear your purse the way you usually do because the strap will become an agent of doom. My already cumbersome boobs are swollen, and they hurt like hell.

There's the little things you take for granted. Yesterday, while showering, I had my leg up on the edge of the tub shaving it. I realized in a few months, I won't be able to reach around the belly to shave my legs. What the super fuck? I'll have to be a woolly beached whale? Oh, well now that's just great.

I've already accepted the fact that normal sleeping patterns are a thing of the past. I took a two hour nap yesterday, and I still laid on the couch for an hour before throwing in the towel and going to bed at 11:00. Apparently, my husband married a 9 year old with the early bedtime and everything!

So far, I have decided that there must be Unicorns and Rainbows in the delivery room, because otherwise there is no fucking way women would do this more than once. Seriously!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Status Report - 251 Days to Go

Still pregnant so far. I'm blessed, awful tired. To all the pregnant ladies out there who complained, and suspected (correctly) that I was kind of rolling my eyes at you, I'm sorry. I had no idea. Frankly, I thought you were milking it and conning me into doing stuff for you. Obviously, given that I am 4 weeks, 1 day along, people here don't know yet. But as I am seriously tempted to crawl under my desk and take a nap, I don't know how long I'll be able to keep it a secret.

The headache is pretty awful too, but that's most likely caffeine withdrawal. I substituted most of my morning coffee with decaf today, and I'm suffering for it. Hopefully this will go away soon, or I WILL hurt someone on my way home on public transit. If not today, another day.

Doctor's appointment is booked for Friday afternoon.

Monday, August 11, 2008

We Now Continue Our Program...

Oh, hi! Remember me? I'm your friendly knocked up blogger. That's right, a little over 4 months after the last false alarm, I have finally managed to convince the Clearblue Digital that I am, in fact, pregnant.

I'm in the midst of moving, so I figured the exhaustion was due to all the packing and unpacking and move this box here and the "Where the FUCK is the ...??" But then the tired didn't go away, and the PMS didn't start. And four different brands of pregnancy test showed positive. I was afraid to consult the Magic 8 Ball that is the Clearblue Digital Pregnancy test, aka the Most Sophisticated Piece of technology I've Ever Pee'd On.

I finally bit the bullet after work today. Now, the crappy camera on my cell phone doesn't show it clearly, but I assure you that does in fact read: Pregnant.

Why Life with a Parasite?

Let's look at the definition of a parasite:
par·a·site [par-uh-sahyt] organism that lives on or in an organism of another species, known as the host, from the body of which it obtains nutriment.

For the next 8 months (estimated date of delivery, April 21, 2009), a little ball of cells (The Parasite) will live in or on me (The Host) and obtain nutriment. I'll let you all know how that works out for me.