Monday, May 20, 2013

Things I forgot about pregnancy #9

I was minding my own business sitting on the couch one night before bed when IT began. It starts with a gentle warmth in the chest and before you know it, BOOM! Molten fucking lava starts making its way up the esophagus. They call it heartburn, and boy does it ever! At times I feel as though it has made it all the way up to my ears.

I had a few brief episodes with M but it wasn't that bad and I know I'm not romanticizing because The Husband confirms that I bitched about it way, way less with her. I do all the things "they" say to avoid it. My diet is blander than a toddler's, I don't eat anything after 7:00, I (try to) sleep propped up, and still every night about 10:00 the home fires start burning. I'm popping Gaviscon like there's no tomorrow. I should buy some stock in the shit. If the old wives tale about heartburn and hairy babies is true, I'm growing orangutan.

How many weeks to go? Too many, but thanks for asking!