Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Baby, don't lose my number!

The Husband started a new job a couple of weeks ago. When he left the old place, he had to hand in his cell phone and the one from his new company is on order, but it hasn't arrived yet. I'm not used to not being connected. I know that plenty of couples managed to stay happily married without phone calls, texting and email for a very long time, but these little touches through the day have been a part of our life together since the beginning.

But that's OK, he'll get a new phone and all will be right with the world. Except that seemingly the cell phone is the only method of contact he's aware of, because without it he's the invisible man. I offer the following as evidence:
  1. On his last day at the old place, he was obviously going out after work. The middle of the night before, The Parasite woke up with a stomach bug. I took her to the guest room to sleep so he could be well rested for the festivities, and arranged to take the day off to stay home with her. From the time he left for work in the morning until he arrived home much, much later that evening I had no way to contact him, and he did not contact me. A little surprising that he didn't call to ask how she was doing, but whatever...
  2. Last Friday, I was the one who was sick with the stomach bug and suffering from crippling fatigue. I knew better than to ask him if he could pick her up from daycare, first week in the new job and all that, but asked him to call me at 4:00 to make sure I was up to go get her myself. Did I mention the fatigue? Literally spent the whole day in bed. Anyway, it's a good thing I set an alarm because no call came.
  3. The Husband asked if I minded if he went out with some friends tonight. I said sure, have fun, I won't wait up. He said "No, no, I'll be home by about 7:30." It is now 9:30. He is not home. There has been no call. Now, he's a grown man and I'm not his mother. I don't have a problem with him going out with his friends. In fact, I encourage it. I was perfectly prepared to not wait up, too but he insisted it was one quick drink after work because he wanted to see The Parasite before she went to bed.
I am now kind of mad. I've found myself with a dead battery while out with friends and running late. You know what novel, revolutionary thing I did to check in? Borrowed a phone from a friend. CRAZY!

Dear Readers, please weigh in:


Just Jane said...

I can certainly understand your anger. I'd be angry...but more anxious (hey! Anxiety's how I roll) than anything. Justified or not, it's how you're feeling and I personally think it's ok to express your feelings to him openly and honestly (not using passive-aggressive or hostile).

I'm sorry you're feeling stranded, angry, disconnected. Sometimes, people can be total jerks.

Jo said...

So who would I be to tell you not to be mad? I would think it's much more that he is used to just texting a quick message and he can't do that right now so he's maybe enjoying his little vacation from technology? AND most importantly, he is a MAN~ try not to put female logic in your expectations of HIS behavior.

♥ It'll be good in a little while. Breathe............. :)

Anonymous said...

I'd be irritated, too, and worried. One quick call, a simple, "I'm going to be a little later than I expected" is all it takes to alleviate both anger and anxiety.

Me said...

We had similar things happen back in the day before cell phones - I kept on saying "I don't care how late you stay out - just don't tell me you will home at a specific time if you aren't going to be because then I worry" - it did get through in the end !!!

Hang in there.

Unknown said...

I would be mad and I think you have every right to be mad as well. I would be worried and want to know where he was and how long it takes to drink a drink. That is just me though. You are justified.


Bibliomama said...

I would be openly and honestly hostile.

Brenda Stevens said...

i hear you...ughh..won't share the happenings in our family..but they are definite signs of him happily living his reality and men do this; mars Venus thang..communication is KEY and its time to paradigm shift a little...LOT.

Our writing is a journal..getting us connected with our inner voice..we build an altar and either "offer it up" or just smother and fart it out. :0) and consumption cycle repeats.