Sunday, June 10, 2012

Domestic Goddess

I had a moment of great shame on Friday. Wait, let me back up... I am not, shall we say... domestically inclined. More accurately I goddamn hate housework. I like to have a clean house, there are just roughly 10,000 things I would rather do than clean it. Up to and including having a root canal without anesthesia. So I cut other areas of my household expenses from the budget to allow us to have someone else come clean it every other week while I'm at work. Indulgent? You betcha. Am I apologetic about it? Nope. Not at all.

Anyway, I was going out to a local haunt with a friend on Friday and I offered to pick her up to save her the cab fare to get here. And as we were passing through the house to head out, I found myself saying "Pardon the mess, Christina (our cleaning lady, who also cleans my friend's house on occasion) has been on vacation." Holy. Fucking. Shit. I actually told someone it's the maid's day off. I have never felt more like an upper class twit in my life.

Today I attacked the gathering of weeds threatening to eat my house. OK fine, the bricks may have stopped the advance but the yard was for sure a goner if I left things unchecked. I weeded and pruned unruly bushes and planted pretty flowers to take the place of the ugly invaders. I also came to the conclusion that my loathing of housework extends to the garden. The Parasite was outside with me in her sundress twirling and halfheartedly taking swipes at dried leaves with her broom once in a while. My plan to have her assume responsibility for all things domestic is hopelessly flawed. I have informed The Husband that getting me a gardener to take vacations along with the maid should form a large part of his career objectives.

He thinks I'm kidding. I'm not.

5 comments:

Joyce Lansky said...

I'm totally with you--love a clean house but hate housework. I just had surgery so I'm excused from it for a few weeks.

http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

Pearl said...

same here :-) i'm just thankful that my kids are all grown-up... i gave them their own household chores :-)

Small Town Mommy said...

I love my cleaning woman. Like you, I cut other areas to afford her but, like you, I would rather have root canal without anesthesia than clean. I really believe people just have different priorities and mine is to avoid cleaning.

2girlsonabench said...

Cleaning is overrated, best quote ever "A clean house is the sign of a wasted life" we use that a lot to feel better...sure we were spending our lives watching Lifetime movies...

Just Jane said...

I'm also with you. We put the cleaning lady in the budget during the thick of my depression and I won't let her go away now that I feel better. It is worth every single penny!