Saturday, February 7, 2015

Dear Moms at the Toddler Playgroup, I'm Sorry!

You may remember us from the Parent and Toddler Playgroup. Mine is the gregarious, affectionate little guy who gave several of you big, unprompted hugs. Yes, I know, he IS adorable, and super-duper sweet. He's a little on the small side for his age which makes all the running and talking that little bit more endearing. He also hugged a bunch of your kids and kissed the communal toys. I'm *really* sorry about that in particular.

Im Sorry Flowers - Life with a Parasite
Image courtesy of Stuart Miles
You see, when we were leaving the house he was a pretty cranky little bugger. The deep snow has kept us chained to the house for most of the week and I figured he had just had enough of looking at the four walls around him. A change would do him good, right? So I bundled him up and gave my shoulders one hell of an awesome workout, pushing him in the stroller all the way to the playgroup.

He ran and jumped and played, we came home for lunch, I put him down for his nap, and everything seemed fine. It wasn't until a few hours later, after he woke up, that the "scene from The Exorcist" eruptions began to literally spew out of him. Within 8 hours it was clear that no family member was going to be spared this indignity. Suffice it to say I'm pretty grateful for the "sanitize" settings on my washer and dryer right now.

With the gift of hindsight, it's pretty clear that his morning fussiness was because of the coming (literal) shitstorm. Given the incubation period of the average norovirus, it is only now clear to me that he was probably contagious as he was was all up in your face. And your kid's face. And slobbering all over the toys. In my defence, if I had known what lay only mere hours ahead, I never would have taken him out. Really, I had no idea! Nevertheless, if it makes you feel any better, (and as you furiously work on decontamination, it probably doesn't) I feel like a giant asshole for unknowingly spreading a plague. Just remember how cute he is and how happy that hug made you as you plot your revenge.

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