Saturday, January 14, 2012

The one where she talks about holes

Tales from long ago ago are fascinating. I studied a lot of history in school and I have stood at the base of the pyramids of Giza, looking up in awe at what those who came before us were capable of doing. George Santayana said "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." That's been proven true time and time again, but I'm not going to talk about the history of the world today. I'm going to talk about (OK, fine purists, I'll write about it) my own history, and the boys I've loved before.

I was 31 when I met The Husband. This may come as a shock to some of you, but... I wore a white dress for my wedding because of a keen sense of irony. Before The Husband there was a long string of unsuitable candidates competing for my DNA, often referred to as a long line of assholes. To be sure, there were some genuine assholes in the bunch. Like the one who, when I called him with the news that my beloved grandfather died, replied with "I guess we're not going to the movies on Saturday, eh?" No, he wasn't kidding. He was also the one who stood me up on New Years Eve a few months later. But even that asshole taught me something about myself, what I was and wasn't willing to tolerate, and what I wanted in a partner.

Sometimes the things you regret the most become some of the experiences you're most grateful for later. All the decisions I have made, the roads less travelled I have taken, mistakes made and learning experiences... um, experienced, shape my judgment today. I am the cumulative result of my history. History made me understand that anyone I was spending time with was likely to be human, with all the failings of the condition. We do things that annoy, hurt and frustrate, but we also do things that bring great joy. And I wouldn't have known what to look for in someone I could share my life with had it not been for some of the assholes.

I guess some gratitude is due, but I wouldn't recommend that any of the boys I've loved before hold their breath waiting for their thank you card...

This post is written as part of GBE2 - Week #34 word prompt: History. For more info about GBE,  click here.  

7 comments:

LarryCminiv said...

Don't we learn at least something from everyone we touch? My past is full of heartache but for 33 years I've been with my soul partner. And it is good ;-). I love your last paragraph---it should be THEM that send YOU the card!

November Rain - k~ said...

There are reasons for everything that takes place... our job is to understand it.

Jo said...

Very introspective. It's good understand what choices we made that didn't make us happy, but in the long run made us better.

danneromero said...

great thought: "sometimes the things you regret the most become some of the experiences you're most grateful for later."

so, so true.

Gene Pool Diva said...

Strength of character is hard won.

Word Nerd said...

Jackwagon fallout has its benefits, I guess. ;O)

Mojo Writin' said...

What is it they say? 'You have to kiss a few frogs before you find a prince'? I think we probably all have our share of assholes in the skeleton cupboard and we wouldn't be where we are without those bum-clenching moments of 'orrible 'istory *wink*