- Clueless shopper #1. The person in front of me in the grocery line who stands there twiddling their thumbs while their groceries are rung up and then loads the packages into their cart before making a move to dig out their method of payment. Seriously? That you were going to have to pay for your shit is a surprise?
- Automatic flushing toilets. I can work around the annoyance in potty training, but I have yet to remember to bring my own pack of Post-Its to the bathroom. Who designed these things? Why do they soak my ass as I'm sitting down? Why won't they let me flush my own damn toilet? I have a hand at the end of each arm, and am fully down with the complicated technology of the flush lever.
- The weavewalker. The person who doesn't check their blindspot on foot. Going to abruptly change directions on a busy sidewalk? Give a peek over your shoulder to make sure you're not smashing into someone, k?
- Clueless shopper #2. Yes, that is a line. It is not a group of people who have stood one behind the other for lack of something better to do. Please join it, at the back. No, you can't just "ask something quickly," because I am standing in line to ask something quickly.
- The one who left the photocopier a mess. Who gets every error light on that thing lit up and then walks away? Why didn't they tell someone?? Was it you? Because I kind of want to smack someone for it, and you'll do. Better still, now that it's an all in one deal, I can't print, scan, fax or make a copy while the stupid thing is fucked up. And I am not at all pleased.
- Gum crackers. I inherited this one from my mother who also cannot abide the sound of someone chewing gum. Why on God's green earth would you chew gum with your mouth open? Do you chew your food with your mouth open too? Hearing it is 10 times worse than seeing it, and seeing it is pretty damn gross. Want to know the difference between your average teenager chewing their gum and a cow chewing its cud? The cow's eyes let you know the lights are on and somebody is home.
- The full dishwasher. The Husband is awesome, wonderful, I'm so lucky to have him. Blah, blah, blah. Love him, but if I go into the kitchen and find that he has loaded the dishwasher to a point where you couldn't add another dish with a fucking shoe horn... and then doesn't turn it on... I might have to file for divorce. I'm certain that's an irreconcilable difference.
- Spitters. No, not that kind. I mean people who spit on public streets. I once had a guy hork a loogie as I was passing by. Did I mention I was wearing sandals? Yeah, ew. Then the douche had the audacity to tell me it wasn't a big deal as I looked at him in horror. I assured him it was and wiped my foot on his pants. In front of his date, who had now joined him on the sidewalk. Hope he didn't stiff the waitress on the tip and talk about an ex because I'm pretty sure spitting on a passerby would be the third strike that sent him to relax with his thoughts at home. Alone.
This post is written as part of GBE2 - Week #35 word prompt: Pet Peeves. For more info about GBE, click here.