Operation: Try Again - Week One

A few weeks ago, we threw in the towel on fertility treatments. I was relieved as the stress I didn't even know was constantly there instantly melted away. I was sleeping like a baby. And then I started to wonder if I would regret that decision immensely 5 or 10 or 20 years from now. As we know, I do my very damndest to make decisions I won't regret later. I decided not giving another shot would be something I would lie awake at night and cry about until I was old(er) and grey(er).

So we came up with a new plan:

1. Take the summer off. Have a romantic life with The Husband that isn't dictated by the level of luteinizing hormone in my bloodstream. For TWO YEARS we've been having sex (or worse, he's been having alone time and I've been transporting the fruits of his labour IN MY BRA) when a doctor or a pee stick tells us it's time. For the next three months, we will not watch the calendar. It will be a complete break from all things related to trying to conceive. Except, you know, the activity that actually makes babies. But because it's fun and we like each other a lot, not because of some little egg in the window of an ovulation predictor kit.
2. Lose 20 pounds by the end of the summer. It might help, and it certainly won't hurt. And if our next round of efforts are successful, it will make pregnancy easier and reduce the likelihood of complications. To this end, I've joined a twice a week boot camp in a local park and have gotten back into running with the Ease into 5K App, formerly known as C25K program. I started using a FitBit a couple of weeks ago to track my eating and activity, and I love that thing like crazy.
3. Twice weekly acupuncture. It might be snake oil, but my benefit plan covers it so why the hell not? There has been some evidence to suggest it helps. I'm doing something, which is better than doing nothing. Surprisingly, the acupuncture needles don't bother me at all. Which brings me to the next and final step in the plan of Operation: Try Again.
4. Get professional help to deal with my needle phobia. Nobody likes needles, but after the injection training session at the clinic I actually hyperventilated at the thought of daily injections. Full blown anxiety attack. Not fun. I avoid the dentist because when I need to have work done I can't stand the needles. It's a problem I should deal with even if I'm not going to continue with treatments because it affects my life in other areas, so EMDR it is! 

There you have it, the new plan. One last try in the fall before we close the door and move on. If it works, fantastic. We'll be ecstatic. If it doesn't, I will know beyond any shadow of a doubt that I gave it my all. It will still hurt, but I will take some comfort in that. To keep me honest, I'll be recapping the progress here every week.