Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Well that was dignified

One of the many, many tests that are part of diagnosing the cause of infertility is the DNA Fragmentation Test. It's a pretty simple (yet expensive and not covered by insurance) test done on a sperm sample that must be performed within two hours of collection. Patients can give the sample at the clinic, but The Husband drops The Parasite off at daycare and changes in her routine are not well tolerated. I work around the corner from the clinic so we decided it would be easiest on everybody if we collected the sample at home and I just dropped it off.

The mood at the clinic when you arrive is very light and friendly. There's a lot of people in this boat with you and if you lose your sense of humour this early in the game, you're totally screwed. I had a good giggle with the receptionist and another patient as we filled out the necessary paperwork. To keep the swimmers viable, the sample has to be kept as close to body temperature as possible. We joked about how we, the ladies dropping off the sperm, kept them toasty - but not too toasty. The other patient held it in her hand in the car, and then she asked what method I used. Now I ask you this:

Yes, I just posted a picture of my cleavage. My mother would be SO proud. Anyway, was it obvious to everybody I rode the subway with this morning that there was a sperm sample in there?