Sunday, November 13, 2011

How does she do it?

It's early. Really early. I went to bed at a reasonable hour and there was no drinking involved last night, but it's the kind of early that coffee can't help because it's caffeine, not a magic potion. The Parasite is up and at 'em. And playful. And cheerful. When she's not whining, which is scientifically proven to be highly irritating. I try to be patient with her in the very early morning, and some days I manage to do pretty well at it.

Today is not one of those days.

I love her with every fibre of my being, but goddamn it this kid is getting on my nerves. I know it's not her fault, she's just being two. I also know I'm the grown up here so I need to pull it together, at least until nap time when I can recharge my batteries too. Between now and then I'll have to do my best to stifle the inner monologue that is really a foul-mouthed tirade about the fucking blue cup and NO I won't dirty another dish because of completely unreasonable demands, you little terrorist. Jesus! Go eat your damn bagel with the topping YOU asked for on it. Penis butter indeed!

Please tell me I'm not the only one who occasionally finds my kid really annoying.

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Teena in Toronto said...

Sometimes we laugh and say our cats are like kids ... as soon as they hear us talking, they wake up and get rambunctious.

Bibliomama said...

You should be ashamed! My kids are the light of my life and I have never, ever suggested to them that if they don't pipe the fuck down I will bludgeon them. You should be ashamed - wait, did I already say that? Sorry, my kids have also made me stupid.

Unknown said...

Bless your heart. Been there and felt that way too on more than one occasion! This too shall pass my friend.


The Host said...

@Teena, all small creatures should know there is nothing good about 6AM.

@Bibliomama, duly noted. I will hang my head in shame when I'm done with the foul-mouthed tirade. The little fucker. Nearly over, I swear!

@Kathy, it was one of THOSE days. Lucky me, she was a little dream for daddy when got up. Grrrr!

Anonymous said...

hahaha just stumbled upon your blog, this post really made me laugh, brilliant! So true, thanks for being candid about having small children and all those 6 am mornings!x