The Parasite is a creature of habit. She is regular in the way your grandmother wants you to be regular and it happens at home, in the evening, without fail. Or at least I thought it was without fail... Since she is well well-versed in the Art of Potty, she's pretty much left on her own to do her thing in there at daycare. I guess she didn't tell anyone that her last visit wasn't #1 related. The Husband picked her and didn't ask for the whole story, but apparently there was a wiping mishap. I gave some thought about how they figured out that something was amiss and realized - with great shame - OMFG, MY KID FAILED A SNIFF TEST!
I don't let her wipe solid matter herself because I have a serious aversion to the thought of poop on hands quickly becoming poop on the couch. And the coffee table. And the kitchen counter. The possibilities are endless, really. However, I'd rather not suffer the mortification of someone playing "Find the Pooper" and my kid being the source ever again, so our latest project has been the Art of Wiping After Potty. Thankfully, wise moms on the internet have given me many tips to teach one's child to wipe their own ass. Here are the ones I am using so far:
- Those fancy, flushable wipes? Buy some. Yes, they're more expensive than toilet paper. So is replacement underwear. Telling her they're special wipes just for her make The Parasite feel really special and keep her interested in a gross, mundane task. Worthwhile expenditure, no?
- We've been making a really BFD about how it's time for her to do this on her own because she's a big girl now. Little kids love to hear about how big they're getting.
- We show her how to keep going until the paper comes back clean.
- We encourage her to wrap her hand with the wipe to minimize the chances of brown hand.
- I try not to gag at the thought of her getting a little on her hand anyway. It hasn't happened yet so PHEW! But what better way to drive home the importance of handwashing?