Saturday, May 5, 2012

You just made my list!

Inspired by a Twitter conversation the other day (with Biblomama, who you should visit when you're done here because she's hilarious), I am bringing formal structure to my shit list. After all, how can I wish a scorching case of herpes on everyone on said list if I can't remember who they all are? OK, maybe an incurable disease is a little too much for people who piss me off a little bit. How about an infestation of bed bugs?

Now, there is a long, long list of things that piss me off, so I'll have to limit it to just this week's shit list:
  1. The ice cream truck driver parked in front of my daughter's daycare. At pick-up time, right before dinner. I SO enjoyed explaining why some kids could have ice cream from the truck and she couldn't. Without using the words "because I said so." Asshole. 
  2. The person who invented toy microphones for children. Because you know what I think when I'm with a group of little kids? This needs to be LOUDER.
  3. The woman who knocked me over shoving on to the subway. Lady, I have to get to work too. I was waiting to let the person WITH A WALKER off the train first. So check yourself and your sense of self-importance at the door, OK?
  4. The postman doesn't even ring once. Dude, I was home and waiting for that delivery when you stuck the little "Sorry we missed you" sign on the door. I know it's tremendously inconvenient for you to actually have to *sigh* deliver packages to recipients instead of dropping them all off at the depot, but it's kind of what they pay you to do. It's called a doorbell. Use it.  
Phew! OK, I feel better now. Now I am going to stop watching this terrible movie (New Year's Eve) and go read terrible fiction (Deadlocked) in the comfort of my bed with a nice glass of red. Who made your list this week?


revelations said...

the government who in their wisdom denied my claim on my income tax form..even though according to their rules it's legit..therefore making me go through a nightmare appeal process...

Ontario Hydro to many reasons to list

The idiots in the line up at Tim's who gab back and forth for 10 minutes before getting to the counter and then start deciding what they want to order..

the brain dead soccer mom driving the SUV on the 407 at a speed I couldn't begin to calculate,while weaving in and out of heavy traffic with two kids in car seats..and the inevitable "baby on board" sticker in the should be reported to child protective services

sorry for being long winded but you started it... :)

Emme Rogers said...

Oh, that ice cream man is criminal. That is playing dirty.

Unknown said...

I never told my kids "because I said so" My answer was always "because I am mean" it developed the appropriate amount of teenage hated at a young age, so now that they are teenagers they don't hate me as much since they already know I am mean!