Friday, March 15, 2013

Things I forgot about pregnancy #5

Most of the things I forgot about pregnancy are... Let's just say they're less than fabulous. OK, I pee when I sneeze. That's somewhere between "not fabulous" and "kind of awful." Obviously after everything we went through to have this baby I'm thrilled to have a pregnancy to bitch about. Lots of things about it are really gross and uncomfortable. I could throw myself a pity party damn near every day. But there are some things about pregnancy that are fabulous, and I forgot about those too.

For instance... Can we please take a moment to talk about the fabulous mane that is my hair? It is full. It is bouncy. It is shiny. It takes very little effort to make it look fantastic in the morning. It is grows really fast so by the time I have this baby, my pictures of us together will feature long, flowing hair! Sure, the rest of me will look like shit, but dammit! I will have amazing locks!

Sure, it means the hair everywhere else is growing at a really fast rate and I won't be able to manoeuvre around the giant belly for much longer to keep it in check, but I'm not going to talk about that today. Today I'm going to AC-CEN-TU-ATE THE POS-I-TIVE! Most notably my awesome head of hair. I'd take a picture, but then you'd see that the rest of me really does look like shit and that's not very positive, is it? You'll just have to take my word for it.