Sunday, April 3, 2011

The I Word

I got pregnant pretty easily the first time around. We more "stopped preventing" than "started trying" and *poof* it just happened. Naturally I assumed the next time around would be just as easy. All systems came back online after the last pregnancy in January 2010 and we "stopped preventing" last June. "They" say that after the age of 35, you should start investigating the causes of infertility after six months.

There, I said it. Infertility. But wait a minute, we already have a child. Surely that means we can't be infertile, right? A lot of people think that, but apparently 60% of couples in fertility counseling already have one or more children. I saw the doctor a couple of weeks ago to start the referral process for a specialist. I got requisition forms for a bunch of tests, included the oh-so-fun pelvic ultrasound. It took me weeks to work up the nerve to see the doctor in the first place, and it's been weeks more since but I haven't gotten to calling for the ultrasound appointment or having the blood work done.

Now, I have been very busy at work and it legitimately slipped my mind a few times. And then I was all set to make the calls on Friday but I left the paperwork at home. But part of me is starting to wonder if there's not just a teeny bit of self-sabotage going on here, like I'm afraid of hearing bad news. Hell, who isn't? But tomorrow I have to rip off the bandaid and make the call.

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