Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Oh, Murphy!

Let's get the boring stuff out of the way first before we talk about S-E-X, shall we? A woman is usually most fertile around the middle of her cycle, a few days before and on the day of ovulation. Even if you hit it perfectly, the odds are between 1 in 5 and 1 in 3 of getting pregnant, depending on the source. That's a pretty narrow window of opportunity. In fact, given the odds, it's a wonder any of us are here at all.

If you are a couple in your mid-30s you might use something like ovulation predictor kits to narrow the odds, because as the months wear on the "Sex by the Calendar" thing gets a little old. So yes, in the last year I have peed on more sticks than your average dog off the leash. On the day the kit shows you that second line, you have 12-24 hours before ovulation to get your freak on. Or, in the case of the 30-something working parents of a toddler trying for another kid, 12-24 hours to drag yourself up to the bedroom in time for some shenanigans before you collapse into your bed exhausted.

Do you know what Murphy and his funny little laws might do at that time, that critical, baby-making time? Give one of the parties a case of Ebola to contend with. Things are dripping in a most unflattering way and the idea of being amorous with The Husband tonight or any other night in the near future is more than my fever-ridden body can handle. And where are we in the calendar? Around the middle of the cycle, a few days before or on the day of ovulation. Fuck you, Murphy.