Wednesday, August 31, 2011

The one where she talks about getting what she wants

Wanting something you can't have is hard. Even if you manage to push it to the back of your mind sometimes, it's a constant, underlying "thing" that keeps you from focusing on whatever you should be doing instead of thinking about how much you want that thing you can't have. And that, my friends, THAT is the point where want turns into longing.When it's so persistent you can think of nothing else, and you feel like a piece of your soul is missing.

To say that The Husband and I want another baby would be a gross understatement. That want turned into longing quite some time ago. Oh, we'll be fine if The Parasite ends up being an only child, but knowing we'll be OK does nothing to help the longing. I'm just not used to wanting things I can't have. I was born in the 1970s in an affluent society. I grew up in a nice neighbourhood and went to good schools. The world was (is) my oyster. So this unfulfilled need - and it is a need, to me - is new feeling. One that I do not like.

I've been around the block enough times to know that some things just aren't meant to be. I know you can't always get what you want. Even if you long for it. However, I do know that if you try sometimes, you get what you need.


This post is part of GBE2. Week #13 Challenge - Longing.. For more info,  click here.

8 comments:

Jo said...

You are a wise young woman. I believe God does not always give us what we want, but he always gives us what we need. Good luck and let us know ... :)

Angela Parson Myers said...

Hope everything works out for you. I can relate to that kind of longing.

Word Nerd said...

I pray that you get everything that you need and everything that you want.

The Stones want that for you, too. :O)

Awwsumkitteh said...

I wish I could have another child some day as well: but I literally can't, and I am learning to accept it. The hurt of it gets better with time.


GBE2: Longing

Jenn said...

Wishing you contentment--whether you do finally have another child or whether it is not meant to be. I'll cross my fingers and toes that it goes your way :)

Cheers, Jenn

Langley Cornwell said...

Good post, I agree that things work out the way they should. But that doesn't take away the longing. Love that you quoted the Stones!

The Host said...

Thanks, all. We have talked ad nauseam about the options and now we know we're going to go for treatment and let the chips fall where they may. By The Parasite's 3rd birthday, if there isn't a sibling on the way we'll close the door and move on with life as it is, which isn't a bad life at all...

Kathy said...

In my experience I found that the more I longed to be pregnant, the more likely I was to never get that way. However, as soon as I quit longing and gave up on the possibility..all of a sudden I was pregnant. When I was sure there was no way I would get pregnant if I didn't use birth control one time, guess what I got pregnant. I wish you luck. Once you give up completely...it will happen.

Kathy
http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com/