Ahoy! There is Still Time to Get Swept Away by @PirateLifeTO

Everybody knows that Toronto is a huge city population-wise, but a lot of us forget just how big it is geographically too. For example, I forget all about the Toronto Islands all the time. That's unfortunate, because, for the sake of a few minutes and a cheap ferry ride, you can find yourself in another world.

There's tons of stuff to do on the Islands, and during our summer staycation we were lucky enough to be able to try a few of them. One of our favourites was the Pirate Life Adventure. Geared to kids of all ages, Pirate Life lets the whole family get in on the adventure. 

It starts with everybody getting into costume. We knew M would be all over that, but we weren't quite sure how Little Cat Z would take it. He's a better sport than we give him credit for, and by the end of his session he was asking for extra touches to his make-up to round out his gnarly pirate look.

Once on board, the young mateys swear the Pirate Oath before hitting the open sea. Errr, lake... With swashbuckling adventures and a chance to fire the cannons, a great time was had by all.

Even the littlest pirate got in on the action:

Pirate Life is still operating on the weekends for as long as the weather cooperates. They're currently running a contest for free tickets to one of the few remaining shows this year. If you're looking for a local adventure, it's a sure way to have a good time!

Disclaimer: We received tickets for the purposes of writing this review. No other compensation was received. All opinions expressed are my own. 

Cuffs

See that kid? I know, she's adorable. She's also a bolter. What's a bolter, you ask? Kids that can be at your side peacefully for great lengths of time until "Oh look, something shiny!" and *poof* they're gone. It's terribly inconvenient in a crowd.

See that thing the monkey is trying to get to on her back? It's her ladybug, a.k.a. backpack leash. She loves it because it means she has a freedom to roam the world she doesn't have in a stroller. When your kid is big enough to walk on her own but hasn't yet mastered the fine art of impulse control, I think it's a damn sight better to use a backpack leash than have her, ohidontknow, run headlong into traffic. Many are of the opinion that using a backpack leash is the epitome of lazy parenting. Well, I readily admit to laziness, so THERE! :P

She's gotten a lot better at walking while holding hands, but there's still the problem of "Oh look, something shiny!" And if you don't know she's bending over to look at an ant or something and let go fast enough, she loses her footing and you end up half dragging her for a second. Man, if you thought people judged you harshly for using a backpack leash, you should see the stink eye you get for half dragging your kid across the sidewalk. I feel like a wrist strap with a little give would make this a lot easier until she's old enough to walk on her own. The following conversation took place when I shared this brilliant, multimillion dollar business idea with The Husband:

Me: You know what would be cool? A thing that attached to my wrist and hers but had a little give for when one of us gets distracted.
The Husband: You mean like handcuffs?
Me: No, I don't want to handcuff my kid. I'm thinking like a velcro wrist strap on either end and a cutesy pink string in the middle.
The Husband: So like girly, ineffectual handcuffs?
Me: You know what? You really are an asshole.

Things I did Elsewhere: Week 12 Recap

Made with love. By The Husband. Because I can't bake worth a shit.

It's Birthday Week! The Husband and The Parasite have birthdays less than a week apart. If you think that means a busy week, you're absolutely right! The big girl's party was yesterday. She was too excited to nap and was still pretty darn tired today, which led to a 2+ hour nap. Curled up with me. Which she hasn't done in ages. Not gonna lie, it was totally awesome.

Anyway, it means I didn't get around to doing a whole lot of stuff elsewhere. I did post our meal plan which includes a plea for help on what the fuck to do with pounds of leftover lunch meat. Any ideas?

Finding Nemo

SEASter Egg Hunt - Aquarium of Niagara

He's in there... somewhere. I think. Behind the Easter Egg? Or maybe he was in another tank. You know, after a while they all kind of look alike. But let me tell you, to a three year old, the sight of seal (sea lion?) swimming around a pool with a ball on his nose is officially The Funniest Thing Ever.  If you're in the Upstate New York/Southern Ontario area, the Aquarium of Niagara is just the right size for little people and a great time can be had by all. If you happen to be suffering from a devastating hangover because you and your partner dipped rather heavily into the wine the night before your kid decided 5:30 was a great time to start the day, you can be in and out of there well before the decibel level of hoards of children makes your eyes bleed. Feel free to file that one under "Good to Know" and you're welcome.

Also, since the souvenirs aren't the "officially licensed" ones, you can get a clown fish that a little kid will swear is Nemo for $15. I don't know if that's a good deal or not, but I do know it got us the hell out of the gift shop before I completely lost my shit, so I consider it money well spent.

Apparently a single visit to Niagara Falls can make a trip to Build a Bear a "thing." The Parasite picked the bear's name herself, and we have the birth certificate reading "Teddy Bear Queen Falling Bear" to prove it. I know, letting it become a "thing" was a newbie mistake, but watching her try to carry the box back to the hotel herself was worth its weight in gold.

Goals are good

If you found this post as part of a search for self-help type info, I'm afraid you're going to be very disappointed. I'd apologize, but I wouldn't mean it and really, insincerity harms us all. Better luck next time? Like most Type A people, I make a lot of lists and I set a lot of goals. One might think I relax this mindset when it comes to my kid. That would indicate one does not know me very well at all...

While at the zoo one day when The Parasite was very small, I noticed that the fish tank held her attention better than the mammals could ever hope to. I attempted to test this theory with a trip to Seaworld when she was a little older and was very disappointed to learn that the "aquarium" they speak of on the website was really a couple of large fish tanks in a gift shop. I'm sure the whale show is fascinating, but the wait was too long.

No matter, I had another opportunity a year later in the Bahamas. The fish-fascination held and an idea was born. A quick Google showed there are about 50 aquariums in North America. I resolve to take The Parasite to most, if not all, of them before she leaves for University. We're going to do a lot of traveling anyway because we love to, so seeing some fishies while we're at it seems as good a reason for a trip as any.

Last summer's road trip took us to the Aquarium of New England. A trip to Southern California one day will cross about eight off the list, and we'll hit the others as it strikes our fancy. Like the one we'll see tomorrow on our Easter mini getaway. Will the fascination with the fishies hold for long enough to see all 50? Only time will tell!

Being Elmo event in support of Zack's Dream Room

I'm going! If you're in the GTA you should come too! How often do you get to have a great time with your family while supporting a great cause? The $20 tickets include snacks and activities, and are available HERE.

Hope you can make it!

Now we know why those little guys said "Hi Ho, Hi Ho"

The Parasite is all over books. This gives me great joy because I'm a pretty big fan of the literary arts m'self. We're currently working on a Hatful of Seuss, but she keeps asking "Horton Who" and who am I to deny such a specific request? Though now that I'm reading it with adult eyes, I'm not sure "Horton Hears a Who" isn't a soupcon of pro-life propaganda mixed up in my child's reading list. "A person is a person. No matter how small." Hmmm...

Last night she grabbed a book from her Disney collection, hopped up on the couch, and started "reading" it herself. Which is to say she repeated the words she remembered from hearing the story and followed along with the pictures. Right now you're thinking she's showing such remarkable understanding of plot points at such a young age, aren't you? Not so fast! Everything was going fine until she got to the part where "Snow White went to a cottage with the Seven Whores." Oh, my. THAT plot just took a turn for the bowchickabowow.

In other news, The Husband eventually came home, I called him an inconsiderate asshole, he apologized and all is right with the world. And he now has a phone again so I can track his every movement using the built-in GPS locating tools. KIDDING!

The one where she talks about working for the weekend

While life is sometimes pretty hectic, I have no regrets about choosing to work outside the home. Sure, it's not for everybody, and that's OK. There's a lid for every pot. I might have felt differently were it not for Canada's generous paternal leave policies which allowed me to stay at home for the first year. But I always knew I was going back to full time employment.

I like what I do, and most of the time I think I'm pretty good at it. Though, since the arrival of The Parasite, work is NOT my life - it's how I pay for it. I used to really identify with being a career woman. I kept my maiden name when I got married because I didn't want to reestablish myself after working so hard to build a network. A good reputation is a hard won prize for anyone out there in the working world.

And then my outlook changed completely with nine pounds of squawking baby. Now I work for the weekends when I can spend some extra time lolling around in bed with my people. I live for Saturday because I can spend all day TOMORROW with her too! It sounds so cheesy, I know, but she really does make it all worthwhile. I'm also extremely territorial about my family vacation time. That's when we take a break from the crazy and connect with each other, reminding ourselves of what all this fuss is about.

Some day, in the distant future when my kid(s) is(are) older, I may try to get back on the aggressive career track. I'll still have a good decade left in me where I can be worked to the bone to plump up my retirement savings that will be drained by putting kid(s) though school. But for now I consider any day I get home in time to sneak in a trip to the park before dinner a good day. I go to work every day and do a good job, expecting no more than a fair day's pay for a fair day's work. And I don't think there is anything wrong with that.

Have you had a watershed moment in your career? I'd love to hear about it.


This post is written as part of GBE2 - Week #33 word prompt: Work. For more info about GBE,  click here. 

I did it! I finished my shopping!

I have a big shopping list at Christmas. There are 25 names on that list and there's the associated "host" gifts that go along with the holiday visiting too. I had The Husband haul it all upstairs so I could wrap it last night and then by the time I was done working all day and doing the prep for tonight's adventure (a visit to someone else's house, where I will be doing the cooking - long story) and the laundry and getting ready for the workday ahead, I was too damn tired to wrap it all. Back to the basement it goes! I'll try again tomorrow.

Really, I think this gift wrapping custom is for the birds. Next year I'm going to stick stuff in my reusable shopping bags, tie some ribbon around the handles and call it done. I have already started with Santa gifts for The Parasite. No wrapping paper, just a tag with her name on it and maybe a bow. It depends entirely on how much wine I get into on Christmas Eve. As I look ahead at the next few days, it's looking pretty grim for the bow on Santa's gifts.

My poor little girl is getting a cold just in time for the holiday visiting frenzy. Nothing like showing up with a snot-encrusted toddler to help you beat a hasty retreat! Sleep issues notwithstanding, there's a totally different sound to her cry for Mommy when she's sick. When she got up at 4:30 this morning I knew I was in for it. Into our bed she went! A little something to take down the inflammation and a whole lot of back pats later, she and The Husband - you know, the two people who DON'T have to go to work today - are snoozing away and I'm here, kicked out of my own bed by a two year old, typing at you. Merry Christmas!

Speaking of the dinner being made at someone else's house, check out Life with a Parasite, The Facebook page for the recipe I'll be working with. If it's great, I'll tell you all about it. If it went horribly wrong and I give everyone food poisoning, I'll lie, say it was great, and tell you all about it.

Not all firsts are happy occasions

The Husband's grandmother passed away. She was 92 and lived a good, long life. It's sad, but not tragic. We went to his hometown for the funeral this week and took The Parasite with us. We agonized over what to tell her and how to handle questions about death and grief from a two year old. We underestimated her intelligence, as we often do.

We told her not be be afraid if people were sad and that Mommy and Daddy would be there the whole time, brought her to the funeral home and hoped for the best. We were going to try to keep her at the back of the room. That went well as she ran up to the (open) casket almost immediately. She sussed it out for herself with "Nonna is sleeping." Well, alrighty then. We didn't speak in hushed tones about her great-grandmother because, well, Eastern Europeans don't DO hushed tones. When she asked to talk to Nonna I told her she couldn't talk to her because Nonna died.

"Oh. Can I have a snack now, Mommy?"

My logic was pretty simple. I figured if I told her the truth from the beginning I wouldn't have to tell her later. I also wouldn't have to damage my credibility when she was old enough to realize I lied, on this or any other occasion. Except for Santa, but he's still useful so I'll burn that bridge later. I know that won't be the last of it, I'm going to answer the question again. And again. And again. I won't be terribly surprised if she hands me the phone six months from now and tells me she wants to talk to Nonna. And I'll tell her she can't because Nonna died. She won't always take it so easily. There will be some tears and probably a tantrum or twelve, but when she looks back over the years she'll know Mommy doesn't lie.

Right? Wrong? Fucked if I know. It's just my best guess. I don't DO sugar coating, it's just not my style. From now until the day she leaves the nest, I'm going to give it my best guess. I just hope it turns out alright in the end.

Life with a Parasite has been nominated as a contender for the Circle of Moms Top 25 Canadian Mom Blogs. Please vote for me. You can vote once a day until November 17th. Thank you in advance!