Mile Markers on Road to Good Health

I don't know about you, but huge, looming goals on a distant horizon scare the bejeezus out of me. I'm working on an E-book for a client and I can't think about the total word count goal because I break out in hives. Instead, I have a goal for a set number of chapters every week. Sure, I still have to turn in all of the work to get it done on time, but these smaller, more manageable chunks don't trigger my anxiety.

When I used to think about getting fit and healthy, I used to look at my total weight loss goal. That was 70 pounds in June 2012, and 55 pounds in June 2014. To be fair, I did have a baby somewhere in there. Looking at a goal that's 50+ pounds away is really hard. You just can't see it, or visualize what you will look and feel like once you get there. That's why I set a few different milestones for myself along the way.

Milestone #1 - Pre-Pregnancy Weight

The first 25 pounds after Z was born pretty much fell off me. I was banking on breastfeeding to help me take off the rest, but the sleep deprivation led to some pretty wonky hormones, so in spite of damn near round-the-clock nursing, the extra weight stayed on until Z started sleeping through the night and I had the energy to start working it off.

15 down, 40 to go, reached in September 2014

Milestone #2 - Pre-Marital Weight

The early days in a relationship are awesome! But those early days also typically involve a lot of dining out and meeting for drinks. Oh, and it means less time at the gym because there's someone you'd rather be spending time with.

10 down, 25 to go, reached THIS WEEK!

Milestone #3 - Pre-Quit Smoking Weight

Obviously quitting smoking was a good life choice, but it came with a bunch of extra pounds. That was a decade ago, so it's really not a viable excuse any more.

Distance to milestone: 15 pounds; Target date: March 2015

Milestone #4 - The Final Goal

Inside the healthy range for my height and now something I look at as completely attainable.

Distance to goal: 25 pounds; Target date: June 2015

At every milestone there is something to celebrate and therefore a reward. For the first milestone it was a gym membership at a place that has child care so I can get some time to myself a few times a week. For the second milestone, it was a cute dress to wear out for my birthday dinner with The Husband in a couple of weeks. A cute dress in a MUCH smaller size.

What do YOU think I should do to celebrate the next milestone and the final goal?

Operation: Get in the Frame

She's alive! 18 months after welcoming our Little Cat Z to the world, the fog has lifted. A lot has changed, most notably my decision not to go back to full-time work after my maternity leave ended in June. I'm a bona fide work at home mom, squeezing in all the freelance writing and PR consulting I can during naps and after bedtime. M's after school programs are a breeze now that I'm able to make it to something that starts at 4:00. Z and I fill our days with trips to a neighbourhood play centre and running all the errands that filled our weekends when I worked outside the home. It's always busy, it's sometimes exhausting, and all this extra time with my kids makes every single sacrifice so worthwhile. 

Perhaps the biggest change has been my feelings about self-care. Turns out that I finally got the message: I can't be a good mother or a good wife if I don't put my own mask on first. Which brings me to the latest operation: STOP HIDING FROM THE CAMERA! If you've been around here for a while, you may remember Operation: Try Again and Operation: Momentum from way, way back in my pre-pregnancy days. I had every intention of getting back on the wagon shortly after Z was born. However, he is not a Unicorn Baby like his sister, who was sleeping through the night at six weeks old. Little Z took until he was nearly a year old to get with the program. There I was, damn near insane from an entire year of fragmented sleep, and feeling pretty icky all the time. Something had to change. 

Monster Dash 2014

Enter The 21 Day Fix* It really is as simple as it seems. Follow the meal plan, do one video every day (there's a modifier for those just starting out), and ta-da! I also further modified the exercises on my own to avoid activities that bug my bad knee or those that could worsen my diastasis recti. Now, I know what the cynics among you are thinking... Well, duh! If it involves eating less and moving more, ANYTHING will work. To that I say, well smart ass, why aren't you doing "anything" if it works so well? Oh, that's right! Because getting started is a lot easier with the structured approach of an actual plan. In the initial 21 days, I lost nine pounds and several inches, including 3.5" off my waist. 

That was in June. I have continued following the meal plan (more or less) and have gradually been increasing the intensity of the exercise. I joined the gym again and have been consistently going several times a week. I ran a 5K this fall, proving something to myself and setting an example for my daughter who ran the family race with me. I'm now down 27 pounds, my waist circumference and waist-hip ratio are *thisclose* to getting out of the danger zone, and I can get through the day without collapsing in exhaustion in the evening. I can back off on the efforts now, right?

HELL NO! 

Next up, Insanity Max 30* I'm no longer doing this because I want to get pregnant. I'm not doing this for my husband. I'm not even really doing it for my kids. IT'S ALL ABOUT ME! I'm tired of avoiding the camera or not sharing family photos because I'm worried about the extra chins or the size of my belly. So, I can do something about my self-esteem and my body image, which would require a time machine, or I can do something about how woman in the frame looks to me any everyone else. Since I haven't been able to find any time machines, I'll have to keep going on the weight loss. Dammit. 

You, dear readers (all 6 of you who may still be around), get to come along on this journey too. To keep myself accountable I'm launching another mission. Operation: Get in the Frame commences on December 29th. You can expect semi-regular progress updates, and eventually I may feel like sharing some Before & After pictures. Stay tuned!

* Disclosure: I am not a BeachBody coach, I don't have plans to become one, and I am not being compensated for sharing my feedback. However, my friend Sandra is a BeachBody coach, and the links to the programs I have used with success are associated with her profile. If you place an order, she will earn the standard coach's commission. If you don't want to order anything, that's OK. You should like her Facebook page anyway, because she's lovely and she shares all kinds of motivational tips and anecdotes. 

Breathe into your back body

When I was pregnant with M I started prenatal yoga at 12 weeks. There's a long list of supposed benefits of these classes, but really I just do yoga because it feels good. This time around, I was on bed rest for most of the first trimester with bleeding from the SCH. I wasn't cleared for a long shower, let alone a lot of time in downward dog. After my anatomy scan showed the clot had been stable for over a month I was cleared for "gentle" exercise and prenatal yoga fit that bill.

I started classes at 20 weeks. Holy shit, a few weeks flat on one's back does some really bad things for flexibility! And strength! And balance! And starting when there's already a bump to work around adds a totally different element to the workout. I spent months getting into better shape before I got pregnant. It took weeks to completely undo all my efforts. I spend most of the class grunting unsexily as I attempt to get into something that vaguely resembles the correct position. There is usually some joint cracking to add more sound effects to the fun. It still feels good to be there, but I'm super happy there are no mirrors in the room.

Now that I know that months of hard work are undone in a few weeks of sloth, I feel confident about my decision to not even bother trying when this kid is out. If anyone is looking for me a few weeks postpartum, I'll be the one on the couch with the glass of wine the size of my ass. Feel free to join me!

Operation Momentum: Week 6 Update

The universe has been working against me! When I started bootcamp in the park, I came the realization that I loved it because I just don't like exercising indoors. Now I've had rain in my house and the straggling bits of a hurricane to work around. I haven't done so hot with the new goals, but life happens. I'm not letting it knock me off the rails. Let's see how things are going, shall we?

1. Keep up the increased activity: Aquafit was cancelled again this week, but I made it last week. The pool is nearly hot tub temperature. Seriously, it's 90F in there. It's quite pleasant after a long day. I just wish they'd get their shit together on the schedule. Walking most of the way home a couple of times a week works well until pouring rain makes the notion unappealing. Things are clearing up this week and I'm looking forward to the crisp freshness of fall in the air.
2. Lose another 15 lbs by the end of the year: 44% complete. Yes that SHOULD be 50% at this point, and thanks for noticing. I put the blame squarely on the collision of rainy weather and Halloween candy. 
3. Do something fun, as a family, outside, at least once a month: Our plan for a day at Whittamore's Farm was thwarted by rain, inside and out. I'm going to have to investigate more indoor alternatives because this kid has entirely too much pent up energy.

Sure, it's mediocre progress, but it's progress!

Operation Momentum: Week 3 Update

I'm three weeks in to the second phase of gearing up to try again. Summer is over and life is back to its usual crazy pace. But lots of people are really busy, and not all of them are really unhealthy so I have to stop using that as an excuse. Here how things are going with the new goals:

1. Keep up the increased activity: I work on the 25th floor of an office building so I won't be forgoing elevators altogether, however I do use the stairs for meetings on a different floor and to and from the subway platform every day. I've figured out the work/commute issue by running home a couple of times a week. It's a pain in the ass to haul my gear in but two birds, one stone is really the only way for me to do it when a brisk walk at lunch isn't always possible. I joined an aquafit class, missed the first one due to sick kid induced exhaustion, the class was cancelled, and I'm missing the next one because I'll be out of town. So I'm batting 1000% on that one, but I *will* persevere.
2. Lose another 15 pounds by the end of the year: 33% complete!
3. Do something fun, as a family, outside, at least once a month. The Toronto Zoo may not be a strenuous activity, but you quickly learn there's A LOT of walking involved when you've got a 3 year old in tow. This is the second year in a row we've gone on Thanksgiving weekend. The weather is cool, the animals are active, the fall colours are magnificent. It's a tradition we hope to keep.

By Jove, I think I *can* manage this lifestyle change thing all the cool kids are talking about!

Operation Try Again: Week 10

There's two weeks left of Operation: Try Again. I'm pleased to report that at the dentist a couple of weeks ago I didn't flinch or even grip the chair when the needle went in. I didn't enjoy it or anything but it wasn't completely terrifying, so it looks like the EMDR did its thing.

I'm 75% of the way there on the weight loss goal, though last night's salty dinner may be affecting the result a little bit. Even so, five pounds in two weeks is pretty aggressive a couple of months into a program. I was feeling pretty bummed about the possibility of not making it to the finish line in time. And then I realized that if I set out to lose 20 pounds by the end of the summer and only lose 18.3, that's not exactly a failure. Oh noes! I might take until the end of September instead!

Maybe that "Own Worst Critic" thing should make the self-improvement list next time around. Seriously, I'm doing the Ease Into 5K app and it's taking a little longer than the nine weeks the program suggests. OK, a lot longer. At this rate I should be eased into 5K after about 24 weeks. And who gives a shit? I'm running a lot faster and a lot longer than I was a couple of months ago, because zero isn't that hard to beat.

Next up: BootCamp starts tomorrow!

Operation Try Again - Week Six

Oh hey, I was going to provide weekly progress updates on this adventure. Ordinarily I'd make the excuse of laziness but really, it's because I've been busy enacting the plan. When I first set out on this course, I wanted to accomplish four things:

1. Take the summer off: Done! I haven't had any hormone injections or blood draws or invasive ultrasounds since May. I have peed on no sticks and have only taken my temperature once because I thought I had a fever. I had no idea how much stress it was causing, but it's gone and I'm a much happier person for it. It was a much needed respite and may very well have saved my marriage from some serious turmoil.
2. Lose 20 pounds by the end of the summer: Summer is (roughly) half over, and I'm 57% of the way there. I signed up for the September session of Bootcamp but in the meantime I found a Groupon for a gym near the office that I've been using over lunch when I'm not at...
3. Acupuncture: Twice a week, and The Husband is going too. Have no idea what it's doing, but we'll find out in a few more weeks if it has had any effect.
4. Professional help for the needle phobia: Done! Two sessions of EMDR working through the process. I'll be able to test how well it worked before another round of treatments at the dental appointment I have to replace some old fillings in two weeks.

There you have it. In the coming weeks or months I'll check my nerves to see if the thought of going back to the clinic makes me have another meltdown and we'll see where the chips fall.

Operation Try Again - Week Three

The last time I lost a significant amount of weight (birthing a 9 lb baby notwithstanding), I was in my late 20s. Oh, I worked hard at it then too - of course I did, I had time to go to the gym five times a week for an hour and a half - and 30 pounds fell off in about four months. Sure, sometimes dinner was a bowl of Cheerios and a glass of wine, but whatever. I looked damn good doing it.

Now, I am in my late 30s. It is decidedly less easy. While my kid would love it, I'd feel pretty bad feeding her Cheerios and wine (or apple juice, if you're the "QUICK! Call Children's Aid" kind) so real dinners are a necessity around here. Wednesday night is soccer night, and Sunday is swim day (neither activity is for me) and that on top of a full time job and general family responsibilities means 5x a week at the gym isn't going to happen... ever. Instead, I do what I can.

I'm keeping up with The Plan and I've reached 37.6% of the weight loss goal. Yes, I prefer to examine percent complete rather than pounds lost. Because I am a dork. Twice a week bootcamp is challenging, but it's getting a lot more fun. I'm a little sad there is only three sessions left. We're away for part next month and there's no way I could work out the logistics to attend three times a week to make up the missed classes so I won't sign up, but I'm looking forward to going back in September. Wait, what? Yes, really.

I've been diligently using the FitBit for over a month now for all my food tracking and setting exercise goals. I've posted a more detailed review over at The Wine Fund, but suffice it to say I love this thing! I did Week #2, Run #2 of the Ease into 5K program last night. Acupuncture continues and even if it does nothing for fertility it gets me out of the office twice a week over lunch to rest in a darkened room for 45 minutes. I can think of worse ways to pass the time.

Some day, if we go through another round and it doesn't work, I'll know I did absolutely everything in my power to make it happen.

This one is gonna hurt like hell

Right. So. A couple of months ago, I decided I was going to make time for exercise. And then I kind of didn't, or at least not in a meaningful, consistent way. I bought a jogging stroller (used) so I could walk to pick up The Parasite at daycare a few times a week, and I do sometimes but I have been really busy at work and often don't manage to get home in time to do pick up on foot. I figured I was pretty much destined to a life of blubber.

What's that, you say? Cut back on the wine? Pffft, that's just crazy talk! Instead, after months of searching... OK and a single inbound email, I finally found an exercise class that starts after The Parasite goes to bed. See, she only gets me from 5:00 - 8:00 during the week, and I think she's entitled to every one of those hours unless it's completely unavoidable. I know taking care of myself is important, but she's only going to be really little for a very short time. There will be more me time when she's older and won't have a fucking thing to do with me.

Anyway, the class. It's a circuit training class, and a pretty strenuous one involving weights and pulleys and a truly astounding number of squats. I am sore now, and I'm going to be even sorer (evidently that IS a word) tomorrow. Just in time for me to spend the bulk of my morning talking to a stranger about my lady bits. Because I might as well add physical discomfort to a generally awkward situation.