Sunday, June 5, 2011

Yuppie Survival Guide - Power Failure Edition

I... am not a morning person. My need for coffee to become fully human is well documented. On the way down the stairs with The Parasite yesterday morning, there was the telltale *bzzzzzzt* of all the appliances in the house shutting off. First thought: Shit. How am I going to make coffee? Second thought: I wonder if the power is also out at the Starbucks down the street? (It was.) Third thought: I should probably keep an eye on the kid as she makes her way down the stairs IN THE DARK... Clearly there is no issue with my ability to prioritize.

Now I could have tried to operate the car in a pre-caffeinated state to go find a place where the lights were on and therefore coffee would be available, but that would be dangerous to myself and the general public. Instead, I improvised and took pictures of it for your benefit. You're welcome. I'm a modern day lady version of MacGyver, folks.

1. Use a lighter to get the stove going with a pot of water. Pardon the dirty stove top, I'm really quite lazy. Under ordinary circumstances I would have cleaned it before posting pictures but HI! pre-caffeinated state:














2. Pour hot water into the thingie over the pot. Wait for drips for entirely too long before realizing it's spring loaded. Say fuck a lot as you realize you're going to have to hold the thing ever so gingerly over the pot to avoid burning yourself while you top it up with hot water and wait for it to run through before adding more:














3. Employ the double-boiler method to keep the coffee (somewhat) warm:














4. ENJOY!